


Letters to the Dead

by Accal1a



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, M/M, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:14:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27732862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Accal1a/pseuds/Accal1a
Summary: Eliot wars with himself about whether to send the most important letter of his life.
Relationships: Quentin Coldwater/Eliot Waugh
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	Letters to the Dead

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently we're writing in the middle of the night again. Bloody plot bunnies.

The letter burned a hole in his pocket. Every breath he took, every heartbeat he felt, every step he trod it called to him. _Send me. Get Quentin back. Send me. Have closure. Send me. End this pain._

It was agony and it was rapture. Both the beginning and the end of his soul, calling to him. _I could return. I could love you. We could be together._

One action on his part and the world would change forever. He could have him back, he could be brave and tell him how much he loved him, how he yearned for his touch, how he was wrong to deprive them both of this wonderous relationship that they _knew_ worked.

Peaches and Plums.

Proof of concept.

An entire life in a day, one full of love, and laughter, and family. It was a dream that could be a reality.

Except.

Fucking _except_. If he sent the letter, he would be changing history. If he sent the letter Quentin would be back but perhaps the world would not. If he sent that letter, Quentin's sacrifice would mean nothing.

His love was a nebulous concept, but Quentin's sacrifice was a noble cause.

He couldn't take that away from him. He didn't have the right, no matter how much his heart was breaking.

No.

_Just one action. Post me and we would be together again. Post me and things could be different._

Standing over the well at the top of the mountain, holding the letter with Alice, having just beared his soul, the answer came to him.

He had known it. He had always known it. But carrying around the letter had given him hope, a lifeline to cling on to. Holding the letter had been a crutch, and he needed to let it go. He needed to let Quentin go.

Quentin, whom he loved.

Quentin, who had saved the world.

Quentin, who he would never forget.

The letter fell, and he watched it go, even after he could not see it anymore still he lingered for just one second more.

 _I love you_ , he thought, _and thank you for loving me._

**Author's Note:**

> Fancy joining a multi-fandom Discord server where you can ~~squee with~~ chat with like minded people? Have I got the place for you!
> 
> Come and join **The Fandom Playhouse**. You don't have to be mad to [join](https://discord.gg/82pvdE39fD), but it does help...


End file.
